


Put a Fever Inside Me (I've Been Cold)

by harlequin421



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mutants, Alternate Universe - No Murders, Angst - Because it's not philkas without it, Because Lukas, Cold!Philip, Fluff, Frozen Puns, Hot!Lukas, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing and Biting, Lots of Touching, M/M, Mild Smut, Not Much of Any Other Characters, The Many Ways to say something is Hot or Warm, What I Pass for Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequin421/pseuds/harlequin421
Summary: “Do you really want me because you want me? Or do you only want me because you can’t hurt me when you touch me?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> completely self indulgent, first fic for these two because they just hooked into my head and heart and created like a billion plot bunnies.  
> dedicated to my darling dara, for being my cheerleader, and helping me when i got stuck, and reading this all before i posted it on here, and calling me amazing whenever i sent her excerpts, and freaking out with me over these boys even before she watched it and just being overall the best best friend i could ever ask for, this one is for you <3

Philip needs to get his mind off things, starting from his mom’s refusal to go to rehab and ending with the words some asshole spray painted on his locker door. It’s not the first time that someone’s called him a mutant freak, and it won’t be the last, but that doesn’t mean that he has to like it.

There’s this place in the middle of nowhere Tivoli, where there are no hiking paths through the forest, near the river, but far enough that no one ever goes there, where Philip likes to take pictures. There are odd scorch marks all over the place, and Philip thinks they look beautiful, even though he can’t explain how they were made.

Philip is walking with his head down, listening to music. He’s not wearing his gloves, because he doesn’t see the point anymore now that everyone knows. Seeing the way the blue blends into the skin above of his elbows make people shy away from him, more so than they usually did.

He doesn’t notice that there is someone there until he feels the heat.

Now the thing is that ever since Philip manifested his mutation, he doesn’t feel the heat (or the cold) at all. He’s put his hands in fire only to feel a slight tickle before the fire dies out.

Objectively, he remembers what heat feels like, but memory is nothing compared to what’s happening now.

Philip looks up from the ground confused, and then gasps audibly.

Standing with his arms raised on either side, in the middle of a whirlwind of pure flames is Lukas Waldenbeck.

Of course, Philip knows exactly who Lukas is. He’s the most popular guy in school, hangs out with those guys that move out of the way exaggeratedly or make mutant phobic comments whenever Philip passes them. He’s not one of the ones that do it, but he doesn’t stop them from doing it either.

Philip’s camera is in his hand, and he’s taking a series of pictures before he gets himself under control.

He puts the camera down, and watches as Lukas falls to his knees, and curls in on himself. The flames die out, but the heat stays for a while longer.

Philip subconsciously moves closer, and accidentally steps on a twig.

Lukas jumps and moves his hands without thinking. What looks like a fireball flies out of his hand and towards Philip. It misses him by several feet.

Philip takes in Lukas’ terrified face and steps toward where the fireball has ignited a couple of the fallen leaves.

Philip leans down, and cups one hand over the flames and watches absentmindedly as they die down.

He can’t feel the heat anymore.

When Philip looks back over to Lukas, the other boy is standing and watching him with wide eyes.

“This actually explains a lot,” Philip starts standing back up and giving Lukas his full attention.

Lukas scoffs as he crosses his arms across his chest, and gives Philip a look of disdain.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Philip gives him a look. “I was standing right there.”

Lukas just rolls his eyes. “Must’ve been a trick of the light,” he says, which makes no sense.

Philip raises an eyebrow. “So you didn’t just almost burnt down the entire forest with your hands.”

Lukas’ arms drop and he looks at Philip incredulously. “I did not almost burn down the forest. The air is damper here, it makes it easier for things not to catch on fire.”

Philip tilts his head and waits for Lukas to realize that he just admitted to Philip that it _was_ him who caused the fire.

Lukas curses turning to pace in the small clearing.

Philip steps closer his footsteps crunching and rustling fallen leaves, and Lukas startles again, his hands glowing orange briefly.

He glares at Philip.

Philip ignores that, “How do you control it at school?”

Lukas snorts, “I don’t control it at all.” He hesitates for two seconds, before he walks closer to Philip and pulls out a silver metal cuff that could pass as a bracelet but Philip knows exactly what it is because his mom wears one, because he was _forced_ to wear one.

“You wear a dampener?”

Philip knows he sounds horrified, and that’s because he is. Dampeners disconnect you from your abilities, and it leaves an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach. They’re meant to be a punishment.

“My dad gave it to me.”

He doesn’t say anything else after that, just slips the cuff around his wrist, before he looks back up to Philip.

“You’re not telling anybody about this,” he commands.

“Who would I tell?” Philip asks sarcastically.

Lukas’ eyes seem to go pained and sad at that, but it’s quickly replaced by the same unaffected look he always seems to wear.

He opens his mouth like maybe he wants to say something else, but he just turns around and leaves.

Philip watches until he’s out of sight, and then a few minutes later he hears the roar of a motorbike engine going off.

He lets out a deep breath, and grabs his camera to look at the pictures he’d taken.

There are ten in total, and the last one takes his breath away.

Lukas standing in the middle of the flames with his head tipped back, the strands of his hair glowing golden, his pale skin flushed with color. His eyes are closed, but the relief on his face is overwhelming.

Philip wants to see it again.

 

*

 

The second time that they bump into each other out there in the middle of nowhere, one week has passed and, Philip got there first.

He’s been there for an hour already, and doesn’t plan to be there much longer.

He’s taking several shots of the sun setting, when Lukas walks into view.

Philip doesn’t stop taking pictures.

Lukas is centered, and the sun looks like a golden halo, shining through his straw colored hair.

He’s not paying attention to anything at all, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, while he plays around with the cuff around his wrist.

Philip lowers the camera to look at the picture that he just took.

Lukas looks otherworldly. It’s insane how good he looks saturated in the dying sunlight, or covered in flames.

“What are you doing here?” Lukas’ voice demands, snapping Philip out of his reverie.

Philip looks up at him, and he’s all angry eyes and downturned mouth.

He lifts up his camera and waves it a little. “I’m taking pictures.”

“Are you stalking me?” Lukas asks with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah,” Philip answers rolling his eyes. “Because I don’t have anything better to do.”

“You can take pictures somewhere else, and leave me alone.”

He sounds frustrated and on edge, and like he’s spoiling for a fight.

Philip knows exactly what he came here to do.

“You know, I can help you learn to control it so that you don’t have to wear _that_ and come here to expel the energy once a week.”

Lukas looks surprised before he goes back to angry. “And why would I accept any help from someone like _you_?”

He says, you, as though it’s a dirty word, as though he’s not a mutant freak just like Philip is.

The temperature around them drops and Philip can see Lukas’ breath spiral into the air when he breathes out.

He looks shocked, and starts shaking as though he’s really cold.

“Never mind, forget I offered.”

Philip just turns around and stalks away, not realizing he’s leaving a trail of ice in his wake.

 

*

 

Philip decides to forget all about Lukas, something that should’ve been easy but is turning out to be the complete opposite.

It’s almost as though knowing that he’s different like Philip, gives him a sixth sense making him able to locate Lukas in any room he walks into, or know that Lukas is going to walk into the room before Lukas even walks into it.

Before, Philip’s eyes must’ve probably passed over him and dismissed him. Now, Philip’s eyes stray and stay on Lukas, because he can still see him surrounded by fire in the middle of the forest.

Every time he thinks about it, it takes his breath away.

He wonders if he stands close enough to Lukas when he’s manifesting his mutation, if he’d actually be able to feel the heat coming off the flames.

Lukas catches him staring, because he’s more often than not staring right back. As much as Philip catches himself looking or even sometimes actively seeking Lukas out, Lukas is most of the time staring right back.

It’s becoming a problem.

 

*

 

Lukas corners him a week later at the convenience store.

He stands in Philip’s way, stopping him from leaving.

“What do you want?”

“I need your help with something.”

Philip raises an eyebrow.

Lukas shakes his head rapidly and looks around the empty store. “Can we go somewhere?”

Philip is tempted to tell him no, but Lukas’ eyes are wide and full of despair, and so very blue.

“Fine,” Philip says, and he pushes pass him to get out of the store.

Lukas follows close on his heels, and steers him towards his motorbike without actually touching him.

Philip is iffy on the whole bike thing, but Lukas just rolls his eyes getting on the bike.

“Come on,” he motions for Philip to get on.

Philip does gingerly, and tries not to touch Lukas too much. Something which turns out to be impossible, as Lukas revs the engine, and shouts, “Hold on.”

Philip has no choice but to hold on tight as Lukas peels out of the parking lot and down the street.

After a few seconds, he leans his head against Lukas’ shoulder, and just breathes. He can feel the warmth radiating off his back, and it makes him want to press closer, but he doesn’t.

Lukas takes him to the same place in the middle of the forest. They get off the bike, and Lukas props it against one of the trees before he turns around to look at Philip.

Philip notices the frost clinging to the front of his shirt.

“Sorry about that,” he says pointing at him.

Lukas looks down at his shirt with a frown and wipes the frost off his shirt.

He makes the most peculiar face, and looks at Philip in confusion. “It’s cold.”

Philip nods his head slowly, “Yeah, cold is kind of my thing.”

Lukas rubs his fingers together as the frost melts. “I haven’t felt something cold in a while.”

Philip’s feels something clench in the pit of his stomach, but he ignores it.

“Neither have I,” he says.

Lukas gaze snaps to him, and he looks down at his hands, and Philip tries really hard not to hide them behind his back.

Lukas starts fiddling with the clip on his dampener, but he doesn’t say anything.

After several minutes of awkward silence, Philip asks, “Why did you bring me out here?”

Lukas makes a frustrated sound, and rakes his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know,” he pins Philip down with a look so intense if he weren’t wearing his dampener it just might’ve lit Philip of fire. “Why did you come?”

Philip doesn’t turn away from his gaze. He feels himself gravitating toward Lukas instead. “You’ve been staring.”

Lukas flushes almost violently.

“So have you,” he mumbles looking away.

Philip doesn’t flush, but the warm breeze is suddenly cool and fresh.

“You’re interesting,” Philip says honestly, and he’s so close he can almost touch him, can feel the heat seeping off him even though he’s wearing a dampener, and he wonders how he never noticed it before.

Lukas licks his lips and gulps.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he confesses in a low voice.

Philip moves in closer, and Lukas’ eyes drop to his mouth.

Philip licks his lips and that seems to startle Lukas enough to be aware of how close they are standing.

He pulls back. “I mean, I can’t stop thinking about your offer.”

Philip clenches his jaw, and takes a step back. “I thought you didn’t want help from someone like me.”

Lukas furrows his brow, and he looks at Philip pleadingly. “I know what I said, but I’ve never met someone else before. It takes some getting used to.”

“You mean you’ve never met another mutant?” Something that Philip finds that hard to believe since mutations are genetic, meaning one of his parents has to have been one too.

Lukas swallows and he looks away, “I get it from my mom. She died when I was six.”

“I’m sorry,” Philip says taking a step forward wanting to comfort Lukas, but not knowing if he would accept it, or even want it.

Lukas just shakes his head. “I didn’t even know until just one day when I was twelve. I got so mad, and then suddenly the barn was on fire. My dad he put it out, and he just looked so disappointed, like if he was hoping that I’d be normal.”

He raises his hand and the silver cuff catches the light. “This was hers. He gave it to me and told me to never take it off.”

“That’s no way to live,” Philip says stepping closer and reaching out for Lukas.

Lukas flinches back from his touch, and Philip’s hand hovers in the air for a second before he pulls back.

“Being a mutant doesn’t make you abnormal,” Philip says lifting his head and looking at Lukas straight in the eyes. “It’s something you’re born with not something you can control.”

Lukas starts shaking his head, and Philip steps closer.

“No,” he says stepping away from Philip. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong?” Philip asks raising an eyebrow. “How many mutants do _you_ know?”

It’s a rhetorical question, and Lukas just glares at him.

“It’s not about that,” he says. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“Then explain it to me,” Philip says trying to sound open minded.

Lukas shakes his head. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well, we’re going to have to talk about it, if you want me to help you.”

Lukas just moves back and gives Philip a pissed off look. “Then just forget I said anything about it.”

Before Philip can say anything else, Lukas is getting on his motorbike and speeding away.

Philip sighs, and walks home ignoring the flurries that start falling around him.

 

*

 

Philip only hears about the fire because Helen’s phone is loud and startles him awake.

He listens to enough to know that it’s Lukas’ father on the other end of the line, and while Helen tries to calm him and gets ready, Philip sneaks out through his bedroom window, and into Helen’s truck.

He hides down in the space right behind the driver’s seat, and wishes he had Lukas’ phone number so he could text him.

It doesn’t take them that long to get to Bo’s cabin, and Philip can tell that they’re almost there when he sneaks a look out of the window and the sky starts getting orange.

Helen stops the car and gets out, and Philip takes the opportunity to peek out the window.

He sees Lukas arguing with his dad. He’s shirtless, and his jeans are burnt in some places, and when he sees Helen approaching, he turns away midsentence and stalks off around the corner.

Philip hurriedly gets out of the car and runs after him.

He doesn’t care if Helen sees him, but she’s too busy taking in the amount of smoke and flames pouring out of the cabin.

Philip can feel the heat, and it makes his skin feel tight, and he lets out a breath.

Lukas caused the fire.

Philip runs faster, and finds Lukas leaning against the shed a little ways away.

He’s holding his head in his hands, and Philip’s heart breaks for him a little.

“Hey,” he says once he’s close enough.

Lukas startles, and then lets out a hiss of pain, and clutches at the cuff around his wrist.

It’s bright red which was most definitely not good.

“Lukas!” Philip says moving forward immediately. “You have to take that off.”

Lukas just shakes his head, and continues holding his arm close to his chest.

“I can’t. It’ll get worse.”

Philip wants to touch him, to help him, maybe he can cool him down, but he knows Lukas won’t allow it.

His fists clench.

“What happened?” he asks instead.

Lukas looks up at him, and he looks so lost. Philip’s hands twitch.

“I was just sleeping, dreaming,” he looks away from Philip and off to where the firefighters have finally arrived to put out the fire. “And then my dad shakes me awake and my entire room is on fire, and I was still wearing the dampener, so it shouldn’t have happened, but he thinks differently, and I don’t know what to do.”

“You need to learn to control it,” Philip says trying to catch Lukas’ eyes again. “You’re getting too strong. That dampener was meant for someone with lesser abilities than yours. It’s going to start hurting even worse if you don’t stop depending on that thing and learn to control it.”

Lukas looks back at him, brow furrowed, eyes pained and wide.

“Help me,” he pleads in a helpless voice.

Philip nods his head rapidly, and reaches out slowly.

Lukas doesn’t move until Philip’s hand touches his shoulder.

At that both of them gasp. Lukas is almost too warm to the touch. Philip doesn’t know what’s going on in Lukas’ head, but maybe it’s the same with him. Just like how Lukas feels like heat to him, maybe Philip feels cool to Lukas.

Lukas leans into his hand, and lets out a breath.

“You could probably put that out over there faster than they’re doing it right now.” He motions to the fire with his chin.

There’s steam rising up as the fire is doused with water.

“Yeah,” Philip nods. “But Helen doesn’t even know I’m here.”

For some reason that startles a laugh out of Lukas, and once he starts he can’t stop.

He slides down to the floor, and rests his arms on his knees.

“This is insane,” he says after the chuckles die out.

Philip sits down on the floor next to him, “What is?”

“You,” he says looking across to Philip. “I’ve always just felt alone, like I was the only one. I knew that there were other mutants out there, but I’ve never known one personally. Not until you.”

Philip gives him a small reassuring smile. “Well, now you’re not alone.”

Lukas smiles back, but it falls as soon as it graces his lips. “You’ll really help me, right?”

Philip looks at him as seriously as he can. “Of course I’ll help.”

Lukas lets out a breath, and leans back against the shed closing his eyes.

Philip tries not to stare at the way the shadows play across his pale chest.

 

*

 

Helping Lukas is turning out to be more difficult than expected.

Philip made a plan; he’s got all the books and relevant information on mutations, especially to do with fire manipulation.

He’s talked to his mom, and the only advice she gives him is that he’ll do great with Lukas because he’s patient, and their abilities will balance each other out.

Philip can be patient, and cool, it’s his default setting.

The problem however is Lukas.

He refuses to meet anywhere but the middle of the forest after school, and even sometimes after his motocross practice.

He’s unable to sit still and meditate for longer than a minute. Philip is tempted to just knock him out and meditate by himself, so that he can keep his control in check.

He doesn’t understand why meditating is important, and when Philip explains how their abilities are connected to their emotions, he tunes Philip out.

They’ve been at this for about a week when Philip finally has enough.

“Okay, that’s it.”

He stands up from his position on the ground, and Lukas looks up at him with wide eyes, his fingers still playing with the damn rocks.

“Are you leaving?” Lukas asks standing up. “We’ve still got two hours before I have to be home.”

“No, but I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Philip answers crossing his arms.

Lukas furrows his brow, “Do what?”

“This! You’re not even making an attempt. Why should I keep helping you?”

“I’m sorry,” Lukas says as he starts pacing across the clearing. “I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything.”

“You’re supposed to be concentrating on nothing,” Philip points out, a bit unhelpfully.

Lukas turns a glare on him, and Philip has to fight the urge to laugh.

“Okay, stop,” Philip says and reaches out to stop Lukas’ momentum.

Lukas doesn’t flinch away anymore when Philip touches him, but he does go preternaturally still.

It makes Philip worry that Lukas may never become comfortable in his presence.

He rubs his thumb back and forth where it is on Lukas’ bicep, but that doesn’t make him relax any.

“We tried the empty your mind trick, and that doesn’t seem to be working too well for you.”

Lukas is pouting now, and Philip viciously bites his lip to stop his smile.

Lukas’ eyes drop to his mouth, and Philip releases his lip.

“Let’s try another approach.”

Lukas looks at him attentively.

“What’s something that makes you calm?”

Lukas huffs and gives him a half smile, “Fire.”

Philip squeezes his bicep affectionately. “I should’ve expected that.”

“Okay,” he says and then pushes Lukas back a little. “Let’s start a fire.”

Lukas gives him a _look_. Philip rolls his eyes. “I meant the normal way.”

Lukas flinches at that, and Philip ignores him, and turns to start to get some kindle.

It’s not Philip’s fault that Lukas can’t accept the fact that he’s not normal. He’s not going to shy away from making comments like that just because Lukas doesn’t like them.

When he returns, Lukas is making a stone circle on the ground, and is piling dead leaves in the center.

He looks up when Philip clears his throat, but continues doing what he’s doing.

Philip doesn’t help him set up the twigs and branches he’d found. He just sits and watches Lukas doing it all by himself.

Of course instead of using the lighter that Philip knows he has in his pocket, Lukas unclasps the dampener, and reaches into the teepee he’s made with the twigs, and closes his eyes.

Philip watches avidly as Lukas’ hand starts glowing hot red-orange, and then the leaves catch fire, and a small burst of flames goes off, sending heat waves all over the small clearing.

Lukas pulls his hand out of the fire, and the flames dance around his palm and fingers, before it goes out, and his hand slowly starts turning back to its normal color.

“Good job,” Philip says, and he hopes that his voice is not breathy or anything.

He feels the heat coming off the flames, and it’s such a novel experience, that he wants to reach out and touch, and see if it’ll burn.

“What are you doing?” Lukas asks, and there is a hand around Philip’s wrist arresting his subconscious movement.

Philip shakes his head to clear it, and gives Lukas a sheepish look. “Sorry, heat is all new to me.”

“Yeah,” Lukas says and he swallows hard.

Philip finds his eyes tracing his Adam’s apple as it moves, and sweeping back up to his mouth, that’s shiny wet from his tongue, and he wants to lean in and press their lips together just to see if he _tastes_ like heat as well, but he doesn’t.

His gaze drops down to where Lukas is still holding his hand, and his eyes widen.

There’s a light steam rising from where Lukas’ fingers are wrapped tight around his wrist, probably because Lukas’ fingers are still slightly glowing from the heat.

It dissipates almost as soon as it hit the air, but it’s there, and for the first time in a long time, Philip’s fingertips tingle.

Philip looks back up at Lukas, who’s still looking at him, and the look in his eyes is so intense, blue eyes wide and serious, and so open.

Philip knows that Lukas wants him to cross that line.

Lukas leans in, and Philip’s breath catches in his throat, and it feels like sharp pieces of ice, and a shiver runs down his spine as he remembers what happened to the last boy that he kissed.

So he pulls away instead, tugging his hand out of Lukas’ hold and slides over to be on the other side of the fire.

“Okay, let’s do this then.”

Lukas’ head is lowered, and he seems to take a moment to collect himself, before he looks to Philip across the fire. His eyes look serious and focused, and the fire is reflected in his irises.

Philip really wants to crawl across the fire and into his lap.

“Okay,” Lukas says letting out a slow breath as he gets into position. “Let’s do this.”

 

*

 

It’s two weeks later, and Philip needs a break.

It isn’t that Lukas hasn’t improved because he has. He’s managed almost two hours without his dampeners without setting himself or something else on fire.

He’d managed to manifest the fire in his hand, and only in his hand.

Part of the problem is that every time Lukas accomplishes something, he looks at Philip with these eyes that always make him want to lean in closer.

Lukas is warm excited smiles, and heady warmth, when he leans in close to Philip, hands cupped around the flames.

Philip can’t help but smile back, and reach out with his hands.

The warmth he always feels dazzles him, and his fingers brush against Lukas’, and he feels that small touch like a jolt to his system.

Ever since they’d figured out that Lukas meditates better with fire, Lukas hasn’t really initiated contact between them.

Philip doesn’t pretend not to know why, so he just keeps the unnecessary touching to a minimum, which is so difficult, because Lukas is always right there in his space, warm and inviting.

It’s easier and harder when they’re in school.

Lukas made it clear from the beginning that no one could know, and Philip didn’t mind because it wasn’t like he was going to be staying in Tivoli for long anyway.

But he feels different to Philip than everybody else. He’s warm in a way that nobody else is, and it’s equal parts frustrating and exhilarating.

Philip plans to text Lukas once he gets home that he’s not going to be able to make it to their spot today. Maybe Helen and Gabe won’t mind if he turns the shed into a winter landscape, just for a few minutes.

He doesn’t get the chance to do any of that.

Lukas finds him after school in the bathroom.

Philip tries very hard to ignore him, but it’s difficult when he leans in unnecessarily close to whisper in Philip’s ear. “There’s something I want to show you.”

Philip shudders at the warmth that teases the back of his neck.

Philip really needs a break, or he's going to do something insane, like actually kiss Lukas.

He exhales hard and sharply, and his breath condenses in the air, and covers the mirror in front of them in frost.

“Whoa,” Lukas says, and he sounds amazed.

Philip can’t really see him, but he can make out the flash of pink when he licks his lips.

“When was the last time you let loose?”

“What?” Philip asks disbelievingly.

“You’re always preaching about how holding things in is bad for you," Lukas drawls rolling his eyes. "When was the last time you let go?”

Philip shrugs, but doesn’t answer him. He doesn’t want to think about the last time that he let go, and why his hands and arms are still blue and numb.

“Come on,” Lukas says and he turns around and walks out of the bathroom in sharp confident steps as though he knows for a fact Philip is going to follow him.

For five seconds, Philip considers going home instead.

By the time he gets outside, Lukas is already straddling his bike.

The school yard isn’t necessarily all that empty, but that doesn’t seem to be bothering Lukas at all.

He throws the helmet at Philip and motions with his head for him to get on.

Philip doesn’t even try to pretend that he doesn’t want to anymore.

He puts on the helmet, and climbs up behind Lukas.

Philip wraps his arms around his waist, and Lukas wastes no time peeling out of the school.

 

*

 

“Why did you bring me out here?”

Philip asks once they’ve been standing around just looking at each other after they’d dismounted from the bike.

“You need to let it go,” Lukas says with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

Philip briefly considers punching him in the face.

“Didn’t you say that you had something to show me?” He asks crossing his arms.

Lukas shakes his head, “Nope, you first.”

Philip sighs, and the condensation swirls into the air between them.

“Okay, fine.”

Philip closes his eyes, and relaxes completely.

He raises his arms on either side, and just lets go.

He feels it when the snow starts to fall over them, soft and light, hardly making a sound. The frost that covers the ground however crackles and pops.

He hears Lukas’ exhalation of breath. “Wow, you’re amazing."

He opens his eyes, and everything is opaque, but he can still make out Lukas, like a warm spot in the middle of all the cold.

“I mean,” Lukas stutters. “You’re awesome. This is awesome.”

He’s looking everywhere but at Philip, and Philip can’t really make out his face.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head.

The snow stops falling, but the ground stays covered in frost, the air surrounding them too cold to let it melt, except for in the spot where Lukas is standing.

Lukas gives him a sheepish look, “Snow usually melts pretty quickly around me.”

Philip walks over to where Lukas is standing, the frost crunching beneath his boots.

“Or maybe,” Philip says slowing to a stop before he’s invading Lukas’ space. “I’m just not trying hard enough.”

Lukas’ eyes are riveted to his face, but Philip closes his eyes again and concentrates.

He lifts one hand in the air towards Lukas and moves it in a circular motion. He feels the snow begin to fall again, and this time it’s sharp and icy.

Lukas exhales a sharp breath, and Philip opens his eyes.

This time he can see Lukas perfectly.

Lukas is smiling, and his head is turned up into the falling snow, and it doesn’t immediately melt on contact, sprinkling his hair white.

He laughs and then just looks at Philip, and Philip’s breath catches in his throat.

Lukas is looking at him in a way that no one has ever looked at him before and it makes his heart race, and his pulse thud loudly in his temples, and the breeze picks up, and the snow falls harder.

“Hey,” Lukas says stepping closer and reaching out for Philip’s hand.

Philip knows that his hands must feel like icebergs, but Lukas just slides their palms together and clasps Philip’s hand in his as though there’s nothing strange or painful about his touch.

Philip exhales shakily, and his eyes dart from Lukas’ grip to Lukas’ eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks sounding worried.

Philip wants to nod his head and say that he’s perfectly fine, but he can’t because Lukas is too close and it’s making it hard to think.

He doesn’t know what kind of face he makes, but it has Lukas moving even closer and ducking down so that he can look Philip in the eyes.

The ice is melting in his hair, and sliding down his neck, and Philip’s eyes subconsciously track the movement.

He licks his lips, and his eyes snap back to Lukas’ when he feels a spike of heat radiating from the hand Lukas has wrapped around his.

Lukas uses the grip on his hand to tug him closer.

They bump together, knees knocking against each other, and Philip gasps looking up at Lukas as he leans down.

“We can’t do this,” he whispers before Lukas’ mouth brushes against his.

Lukas pulls back just a little, eyes furrowed, “Why not?”

Philip closes his eyes, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He feels warm fingers on his face, and opens his eyes.

Lukas is really close, and his hands are cupping Philip’s cheek, and Philip just knows that his hands are burning bright fire orange.

“If I can’t hurt you,” he says in a low voice, leaning in bit by bit. “Then you can’t hurt me.”

Philip’s eyes fall shut at the first touch of his lips.

It’s chaste and light, almost as though to see, to make sure.

But then, Lukas’ hands are cupping the back of his neck and sliding into Philip’s hair. He tilts his head, and presses their mouths together harder.

Philip has very good reasons to not want to kiss anybody, not just Lukas, but they’re becoming more and more obsolete, as Lukas nips against his mouth coaxing, trying to get Philip to kiss him back.

Lukas licks against his bottom lip, and it’s almost scorching.

Philip moans, and gives up.

He launches himself at Lukas wrapping his arms around his shoulders, and leaning all of his weight against him, kissing back.

Lukas staggers a bit, but doesn’t fall back to the floor. His fingers are rubbing against Philip’s throat when he pulls back.

“What if someone sees?” he pants against Philip’s mouth sending warm bursts of air all over Philip’s face.

“What like a squirrel?” Philip teases nudging their noses together.

“You can’t tell anyone about this,” Lukas demands weakly, voice shivery, probably from the way Philip’s fingers are sliding down the collar of his shirt.

“I’m already not telling anybody anything,” Philip drawls and just kisses Lukas again to make him stop thinking.

He manages to do that just fine, but at the cost of his own thought process, so that by the time Philip pulls back, both of them aren’t wearing any jackets, and he’s ankle deep in snow.

Lukas opens his eyes slowly, and he looks dazed, and his cheeks are flushed red, and it all combined has Philip pressing another quick kiss to his mouth.

Or he’d meant for it to be a quick kiss, but then Lukas deepens it, opening his mouth against Philip’s.

He slides his hot hands up Philip’s back, and Philip gasps at the sensation pressing closer into Lukas’ warmth.

He manages to pull away gasping and Lukas just slides his mouth down Philip’s chin breath hot and humid.

Philip pants, and tries to gather his thoughts.

“So is this why you brought me out here?” he asks as Lukas starts nipping against the column of his throat.

Lukas doesn’t answer him, he just sucks a biting kiss on Philip’s collarbone and then mercifully pulls back so that Philip can regain his bearings and stop it from snowing in the middle of the forest.

Lukas’ fingers slide down to Philip’s hips, ten hot points of contact against his skin making regaining anything impossible.

“I’ve been practicing on something, and I want to show you.”

Philip’s arms tighten where they’re still wrapped around Lukas’ shoulders. He leans back a little to look at Lukas in the face. “Then show me.”

“Right now?” Lukas whispers arms sliding around Philip’s waist, stretching out his shirt. Philip lets him, because he’s enjoying the warmth of having skin to skin contact, and it’s making his head feel cloudy with desire.

“When I’ve finally got you right where I want you?” Lukas finishes.

“Finally?” Philip asks raising an eyebrow, and tilting his head to the side. “You’ve wanted this for a while then?”

Lukas looks at him intensely then, and he moves his hands out of Philip’s shirt, and slides his fingers across Philip’s jaw, cupping his cheeks in his palms, and leaning in to press their foreheads together.

His eyes close, but Philip can’t seem to stop watching Lukas.

“You have no idea,” he breathes and then rubs their noses together.

Philip’s eyes shudder close as Lukas presses a kiss to each corner of Philip’s mouth, tipping his head down to press a kiss on his forehead, from one temple to another across his eyes, and the bridge of his nose, down his jaw, until finally his mouth teases over Philip’s.

Philip slides his fingers into Lukas’ hair, grips tightly and holds him in place as he kisses him on the mouth, over and over and over, until Lukas is making these high pitched keening noises in the back of his throat and trying to tug them both down to the ground.

“Wait,” Philip says stopping before Lukas actually manages to drag them both down into the snow.

He untangles himself from Lukas, and ignores the noises he makes as though Philip is physically hurting him.

Lukas blinks several times, but his gaze is still dazed when he realizes that Philip is actually speaking to him.

Philip can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.

“Not that I’m against anything that’s happening,” he says just to make that part clear. “But it’s the middle of the day, and the ground is covered in melting snow.”

Lukas looks around them as though he’d forgotten about where they were.

Then he gives Philip a smile that sears through him, “My dad’s got a cabin not too far from here.”

“You mean the cabin you burnt down?”

Lukas gives him a baleful look, “It’s been weeks since then, my dad’s already fixed most of it up.”

Philip is tempted, really tempted. He doesn’t say anything while he mulls that over, but he’s pretty sure that Lukas can read the thought process on his face.

He shakes his head, and tries to be sensible. “We’ve still got to practice. You said you had something to show me.”

Lukas is looking at him as though he can’t believe what Philip is saying.

Philip himself can’t believe that he’s saying it, but there are many different things to consider before they decide to do anything else.

Still, he tilts his head to the side, and raises one hand to touch the tips of his fingers to Lukas’ cheek.

“Maybe, if you do good, I’ll give you a prize.”

Lukas’ breathing gets heavier immediately, and Philip is already warm all over from how close they were pressed together, but he still feels that spike of heat. “What kind of prize?”

Philip licks his lips and gives Lukas a very obvious once over.

“I’m sure you can figure out what.”

Lukas’ eyes visibly darken, and Philip has to take a step back.

“Come on,” Philip challenges easily. “Show me what you’ve got.”

“Oh I’ll show you what I’ve got,” Lukas says and steps forward decidedly. He cradles Philip’s head gently between his warm hands before he’s kissing him hard and fast.

He doesn’t give Philip time to respond, before he’s pulling away, and letting him go.

This time Philip is the one blinking dazedly.

He shakes his head, and clears his throat, and finally turns to look at the havoc he’s wrecked.

The ankle deep snow and frost crawling up the trees is all very normal. The ice patches where they’d been standing as though Lukas had melted the snow, and Philip had cooled it to ice, however, were not normal.

Philip looks away from that to see that Lukas is walking down the path to the clear open space by the river.

“Where are you going?” Philip shouts following him.

Lukas turns his head and gives him a grin. “I don’t want to set any trees on fire.”

Philip hurries and catches up to him just as Lukas slows down.

“You’ve never had a problem with that before,” Philip comments as he stops right next to him.

Lukas just shrugs, and then relaxes his shoulders. Philip watches as he centers and calms himself down, before he opens his eyes and turns to Philip with a completely confident look on his face.

“Come here.”

Philip could make a comment about how they need to practice, not change make out venues, but he goes willingly not saying a word.

Lukas positions him in front of himself, pressing his front to Philip’s back.

Philip’s breath catches in his throat. 

He feels frozen in place when Lukas’ hands slide from his shoulders down his arms to his wrists. He lifts Philip’s hands, and cups them, his palms almost searing against the back of Philip’s hands.

His fingers thread through Philip’s, and Philip really wants to ask him what he's doing, but then his hands start heating up.

Sparks start coming off his fingers, and they sizzle against Philip’s skin.

He watches mesmerized, as they cover both of their hands, making it seem like they’re holding sparklers in the palm of their hands.

“Whoa,” Philip whispers.

Lukas laughs quietly.

Philip feeling the vibrations up and down his back, and then he tucks his chin over Philip’s shoulder.

“Watch this,” he whispers, and he lets go of Philip’s hands.

Philip feels sad about that, but then Lukas creates a fireball in each palm, and makes a flicking movement with his wrists that sends them into the air where they collide and explode like fireworks.

“Amazing,” Philip breathes.

He turns his head up and to the side to look at Lukas.

Lukas is looking up as the sparks fall over them with a smile on his face.

It’s only been a couple of weeks, but this is the first time that Philip has seen him not be terrified or indifferent towards his mutation.

It makes Philip smile in return.

Lukas turns his head to him as though he feels that Philip is looking at him.

“What?” Lukas asks him with a confused smile on his face.

Philip can’t help but twist in his hold and press a kiss to his mouth.

Lukas immediately responds, hands sliding across Philip’s jaw and into his hair as he tugs him in closer for a deeper kiss.

Philip can taste the fire in his mouth.

He pulls back breathing heavily, and his gaze doesn’t move from Lukas’ mouth.

Lukas licks his lips, and slides his hands down Philip’s neck, making his eyes fall shut once more. He continues smoothing over Philip’s shoulder and down to his wrists.

He threads their fingers together and tugs, “Come on.”

This time Philip doesn’t protest.

 

*

 

“Cozy,” Philip says, once he settles himself in the only space available to sit on, which is the bed.

Lukas rolls his eyes as he walks the entirety of the small space, peers into the fridge, and then goes to make another round of pacing.

Philip grabs his arm as he passes in front of him again and tugs him to sit next to him.

“What’s wrong?”

Lukas doesn’t look at him, just down at his hands. “I’ve never done this before.”

“With another guy,” Philip says. “I know that.”

“No,” Lukas says and buries his face in his hands. The words are muffled, but Philip understood what he said. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”

Philip blinks in shock for a couple of seconds.

“What about Rose?” he asks because it’s the next logical question.

Philip’s seen them around school. He knows they’re a thing, which was one of the reasons why Philip didn’t want to kiss Lukas in the first place.

Lukas looks at him then, eyes incredulous, “ _What_ about Rose?”

“Aren’t you guys like a thing?” Philip asks confused.

“No!” Lukas says immediately. “I mean, she wanted us to be a while ago, but I never really encouraged her. Ever since what happened, I don’t like getting close to people.”

The _in case I hurt them_ is unspoken, but Philip can hear it loud and clear.

He reaches out and puts a hand on Lukas’ shoulder, fingertips brushing the skin of his neck.

Lukas inhales sharply.

“I’m sorry,” Philip says sincerely.

“Why did you kiss me if you thought I was with Rose?”

Philip shrugs a little helplessly and lets his hand drop.  “You know why.”

“No I don’t.”

Lukas is looking at him attentively, as though Philip’s answer is the only thing that matters to him in that moment.

Philip looks into his eyes and can’t help but tell him the truth.

“I wanted to feel something, and you make me feel in a way that no one ever has.”

Philip feels exposed, and makes to get up, but Lukas’ hands catch him before he can make a move.

Lukas cups his shoulders and slides his hands up to cup his face and kisses him.

It’s sweet, and slow, and searing with heat.

Philip makes an indescribable noise at the back of his throat before he surges against Lukas, hands in his hair as he tugs him closer to kiss him deeper.

Lukas immediately latches onto his desperation, and tugs and pulls until they’re both kneeling on top of the bed.

Lukas is a long line of heat from his knees to his chest, even though he’s still wearing two shirts.

Philip’s hands still tangled in Lukas’ hair, using the grip to turn Lukas’ head to change the angle.

Lukas lets him, surrendering to the onslaught easily, hands wrapped around Philip’s waist, under his shirt.

Philip slows down the kiss, opening his mouth and sucking hard on Lukas’ bottom lip.

Lukas moans, and presses back, and slides his hands up until Philip’s shirt is rucked up underneath his armpits.

Philip lets go of Lukas’ lip and pulls back just enough to let Lukas pull his shirt over his head, before he’s tugging Lukas’ flannel shirt off, and Lukas helps by pulling off his undershirt the second Philip got it off.

They stop for a moment, and Philip just looks at Lukas, how his pale skin is glowing gold in the dying sunlight, how soft it looks, and how Philip can touch him, actually _touch_ him.

Philip does just that, hands pressing against Lukas’ shoulders before he slides them down his chest.

Lukas gasps, and twitches and his head falls back.

Philip takes that as encouragement.

He smooths his fingers down Lukas’ belly, and his muscles twitch, but he doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t gasp as though he’s in incredible pain.

“Do you even know how you make me feel?” Lukas asks and his voice has gone all ragged and low.

Philip’s hands freeze on the curve of Lukas’ waist, and he looks up into Lukas’ eyes, blazing with the fire that he always carries within him.

“How?” Philip asks chest tight, heart racing.

Lukas leans in close, pressing their foreheads together. “You make me shiver.”

He slides his arms around Philip, and tugs them in together again, and taking their shirts off was the best idea that Lukas has ever had, because Philip can feel him even more, sweltering, and he can feel the flush working its way across his own skin warming him up.

He wonders if this is what normal people feel when they stand too close to the flames.

It’s heat, and warmth, and something so good that it makes your skin tighten. He pushes in closer, wrapping his arms around Lukas’ waist, and sliding his hands across his back.

Philip leans his head against Lukas’ shoulder and sighs.

Lukas shivers and wraps his arms around Philip in turn, sliding one of his hands around Philip’s neck, fingers blazing a trail up to his jaw, while his other hand wraps securely around Philip’s waist, keeping his in place.

He coaxes Philip’s head up from his shoulder, and curves his palm over his cheek, before his nipping against Philip’s lip.

Philip lets him, opening his mouth to his, and sliding his hands down until Lukas freezes against him.

“Shh,” Philip soothes sliding his hands back up and rubbing his fingers against Lukas’ nape. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

Lukas relaxes a little-nodding in acknowledgement-enough to start kissing Philip again.

Philip kisses back, sliding his hands securely into Lukas’ hair. He tugs, and Lukas pushes back against him.

Philip falls back on his heels, and Lukas bears down on top of him.

With a bit of difficulty because Lukas won’t stop kissing him, Philip gets his legs out from underneath himself until he’s sitting back on the narrow bed, and Lukas is kneeling between his spread knees.

Philip leans back using the grip that he has on Lukas’ hair to tug him down with him, not that he actually has to since, Lukas is already moving closer, hands and mouth leaving his face as Philip fully lies back.

He rests his elbows on either side of Philip’s face balancing over him, and leans back down. He kisses Philip teasingly, and smiles as he pulls back and Philip leans up to follow his mouth.

Philip makes an embarrassing noise in the back of his throat.

Lukas chuckles and leans back down, but instead he bites against Philip’s shoulder, nipping teasing bites up Philip’s throat, and his mouth is hot and wet, and feels so _good_ against Philip’s skin.

He wraps his arms around Lukas’ shoulders and tips his head back encouraging.

Lukas slides his mouth across his collarbones and bites and sucks hard against Philip’s shoulder, making Philip’s eyes snap open as he arcs off the bed, feet scrambling against the sheets as he pushes up into Lukas’ hips.

Lukas pulls back and Philip’s hands fall down to his sides.

Philip almost curses, when Lukas’ hands find his hips, and Philip’s eyes are drawn to the warm orange glow.

“Stay still for a second, okay?”

Philip nods his head quickly, gulping.

Lukas’ hands trail up from his hips, fingers leaving behind searing trails that make Philip inhale sharply.

He holds his breath as Lukas traces the curve of his waist, and slides up and across, brushing hot fingers across his nipples.

Philip moans, and grasps the sheets in his hands.

His eyes are closed so he doesn’t notice it when Lukas leans down, and licks across his nipple.

Philip’s hands move, clenching into Lukas’ hair as Lukas sucks, and Philip swears.

He tugs on Lukas’ hair until he’s let go, and tugs him back up to his mouth.

Lukas sucks on his lip immediately, and Philip opens his mouth to his.

Lukas licks into his mouth, hands back to balancing him over Philip, and really, Philip didn’t get them both shirtless so that Lukas could spend the entire time hovering over him.

Philip moves his legs and his hands, sending Lukas sprawling over him by knocking his elbows out from underneath him, and wrapping his legs around the backs of Lukas’ thighs and tugging him down.

The move, or even the sudden skin to skin contact, surprises Lukas enough that he sets the bed on fire.

Lukas scrambles off him, looking for something to douse the flames.

Philip just sits up and turns around, and pats the flames down, until they’re gone.

The bed sheets are still singed, and when Philip turns to look at Lukas, it’s to see the same frightened look he’d seen on his face the night of the fire.

“Hey,” Philip says getting off the bed and reaching out for Lukas.

He doesn’t pretend not to be disappointed when Lukas pulls away. He lets his hands drop to his sides, and he tries really hard to keep his emotions in check.

“Listen, you can’t hurt _me_ but that doesn’t mean you won’t burn the cabin down, again.”

“So what you’re saying is that we should just stop?” Lukas asks, and he moves in closer to Philip making it difficult for him to think straight again.

“No, what I’m saying is that you need more practice, and maybe we should keep things above clothes for right now.”

Lukas seems to ponder that over, while he eyes look all over Philip’s chest, lingering on his neck, and collarbones, and shoulders.

He steps even closer. “I can always wear the dampener.”

Philip feels as though he’s been doused with freezing cold water.

He steps away from Lukas frowning.

“I can’t.”

Lukas furrows his brow, “What do you mean you can’t?”

“The dampener dampens your abilities. You’ve never touched me while wearing it. What makes you think that I won’t hurt you?”

“So what you’re saying is that you won’t be with me, if I keep wearing the dampener?”

Philip immediately shakes his head stepping closer, “That is not what I said.”

Lukas ignores him and grabs the first shirt he finds pulling it over his head.

It’s Philip’s obviously, it fits him a little snug around the shoulders, but he obviously doesn’t care.

“I’m gonna go get some air.”

He makes to leave.

“Lukas, wait,” Philip says reaching out and halting him with a hand on his wrist.

Lukas looks at him, and then reaches out with one hand and pulls him in for a bittersweet kiss, soft and sharp at the same time.

“I’ll be back. I just, I need to think.”

Philip nods his head rapidly, and watches as Lukas walks out the door.

He waits until he hears the motorbike leave before he falls heavily on top of the bed dropping his head in his hands.

 

*

 

By the time Lukas comes back, Philip is ready to just walk back home.

Night has fallen, and he’s lied to both Gabe and Helen twice about his location, but just as he’s taking a step out of the door, the bright headlights of Lukas’ bike come into view.

He stands in front of the door, and watches as Lukas takes off his helmet.

Philip’s shirt is singed in places, but he doesn’t comment on that.

Lukas pulls out what looks like a fast food back, and a cup holder with one cup in it.

“Thought you might be hungry,” he says, and it’s not an apology for being gone for hours, for leaving without giving Philip a chance to explain why, but it was something.

He turns around and leads the way inside.

They sit on the floor beside the bed, and Lukas spreads out the fries that are still steaming hot, and the drink, which turns out to be a partially melted milkshake.

“I’m not a big fan of fries,” Philip says reaching out and grabbing one anyway.

He eats it and makes a face.

“Here, how about I try?”

Lukas lifts a fry to his mouth, and Philip hesitates for just one second before he takes a bite of the fry from Lukas hands.

It doesn’t exactly taste any different, just a little salty, and a little crispier.

Philip shrugs, “Maybe it’ll just be one of those things I’ll never get.”

He points his chin towards the milkshake.

“Why the milkshake?”

Lukas flushes, and stuffs his mouth full of fries, before he swallows with difficulty and has to clear his throat three times before being able to speak.

Philip watches this with mild amusement, bottom lip caught in his teeth.

“Well, I run too hot even with the dampener, and I’ve never enjoyed a proper milkshake.”

He looks at Philip hopefully and Philip just smiles, before he grabs the cup.

Lukas makes a hold on gesture, and sticks two straws into the cup before giving Philip a smile.

He concentrates a little, but misses the mark by a bit, turning the milkshake too hard.

Lukas laughs and moves closer, “How about this?”

He wraps his hands over Philip’s, and his palms heat up, and it cools the drink down a little bit.

He leans in and closes his lips around one of the straws and sucks.

His eyes flutter, and he takes another long sip before giving Philip a smile, “That's awesome! Too bad I can’t do the same thing with you and the fries.”

Philip just shrugs, and leans forward to drink some of the strawberry flavored milkshake.

“So,” Lukas starts after he’s finished most of the fries, and they’re sharing the beer that Lukas found in the fridge. “Can you actually take a shower, or do you freeze the water?”

Philip bursts out into laughter. “I can actually control myself you know?”

Lukas raises an eyebrow and takes the frosted beer bottle from Philip’s hands.

“If that’s true, then why do you always seem to freeze stuff?”

“It’s because I’m around you, idiot,” Philip says thoughtlessly, and immediately regrets it.

He grabs the beer out of Lukas’ hands and drinks the rest of it in one gulp.

“I make you lose control?” Lukas asks, and his tone is awestruck and confused all at once.

Philip gives him a sidelong look, before dropping the bottle down, and turning fully to face him.

“You don’t understand what it’s like. When I was fourteen, I kissed a boy for the first time. It was my first ever kiss and I was so nervous.” Philip smiles humorlessly. “He had to be hospitalized with hypothermia. After that I never let anyone close, and it wasn’t like it mattered. After that, everyone felt different, breakable in a way that I had never considered before. I could really hurt someone.”

Lukas is looking at him seriously, and he seems not to be even breathing.

“But you, you’re like the sun and everyone else is just a distant star. You make me feel something, which is more than anyone else does.”

Lukas just continues to look at him, and when he realizes that Philip is done speaking, he gets up to his knees.

Philip turns more fully to face him, and Lukas shuffles over, pushing aside what’s left of their makeshift dinner, and he reaches out and cradles Philip’s head in his hands, gently, always so gently.

He leans in and presses a kiss to Philip’s forehead, and Philip’s eyes close, and he doesn’t cry, but he feels like he might.

Lukas presses kisses all over his face, and then slides their mouths together and it’s all hot and intense.

Philip has to push him back a little. “We can’t.”

Lukas nods his head pressing their foreheads together hard, “I know, but I really, really, just want to kiss you right now, and to keep kissing you until we fall asleep breathing each other’s air.”

Philip looks at him in amazement, not believing that he actually said that.

But when Lukas tugs him to his feet and drags him over to the small bed, Philip doesn’t protest.

Who’s he to deny Lukas what he wants, when he wants it just as badly.

 

*

 

Philip wakes up first.

It’s not actually that surprising, considering that Lukas has to expend a lot of energy, even when he’s not creating fireworks in the middle of the forest.

Philip’s mouth feels sore, and his jaw aches, but he remembers fully well why they feel that way, and he can’t find it in himself to feel sorry about it.

Lukas true to his word kissed him until Philip fell asleep. He doesn’t know if they fell asleep at the same time, but he does know that Lukas’ mouth was sucking softly on his bottom lip when he’d finally succumbed to sleep.

Philip’s eyes open blearily, not used to so much sunshine in the morning and the first thing that he sees is Lukas’ sleeping face.

His straw blond hair looks like a rat’s nest, and there are pieces falling across his forehead and into his eyes, tickling his nose. His mouth looks red, and swollen, and so inviting that Philip has to stop himself from leaning across and kissing him awake.

Philip would move to go to the bathroom, to use it and rinse his mouth out, but Lukas has him trapped between his body and the wall, and Philip doesn’t want to wake him.

He’s never seen Lukas look this calm, this peaceful. He always seems to be carrying a burden whether it’s his mutation or his sexuality, or both at the same time, Philip doesn’t know.

He can try to understand to a certain point, but Philip is comfortable with those parts of himself.

In the city everything was so much easier.

Philip moves his hand from where it is wrapped lightly around Lukas’ waist, and presses his fingers to the shadows underneath his eyes.

Lukas twitches at his touch, and his blinks open his eyes, and once he realizes that it’s Philip lying there, his eyes go wide and alert.

Philip licks his lips, and sees the moment that Lukas registers what happened last night.

“So that wasn’t just a dream?” he asks weakly.

Philip shakes his head.

“Good to know,” he lets go of Philip.

Philip excuses himself to the bathroom immediately.

He closes and locks the door behind him, and the space in the bathroom is tiny, but it’ll do. He takes a deep breath and reaches for the sink. He washes his face, and slides his wet hands through his hair, and he looks into the mirror and tries to remember that Lukas has lived his whole life in this small town.

When he walks outside, Lukas is gone.

Philip would freak out, but he didn’t hear the motorbike, and he’d doubt that Lukas would walk with it until he could turn it on without attracting Philip’s attention.

He's not that much of an asshole.

Philip just puts on his shoes, and his jacket, and heads out the door.

Lukas is leaning against the motorbike, and he looks up at Philip as he walks out.

His hair is wet as well, so Philip assumes that there is a faucet out here somewhere.

He walks over to Lukas, and Lukas says, “I’ll give you a ride home.”

Philip stops just within reach, and tilts his head to the side. “Are you freaking out?”

“No!” Lukas says immediately, and then he takes a deep breath. “Maybe a little, but it’ll pass.”

Philip steps in closer, and Lukas takes a step forward.

Philip has to tip his head back a little so that they can keep eye contact.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not necessarily,” Lukas says, and his eyes flicker down to Philip’s mouth.

“We can always practice some more,” Philip says a little suggestively, and bites his lip when the flush spreads across Lukas’ cheeks.

“Not that kind of practice,” he admonishes lightly. “But we’ll see, if you can pass your latest time.”

Lukas seems to mull this over for a second, before nodding his head. “Okay, deal. Our usual place?”

Philip smiles nodding, before he gives in and presses a light kiss to Lukas’ mouth. “Yeah, our place.”

 

*

 

Philip’s head wasn’t necessarily in the clouds, but he’d been behaving differently, if Gabe and Helen were to be believed.

Philip knows it has everything to do with Lukas, and the fact that Philip now knows how Lukas tastes exactly like he feels, warm and sweet.

He knows that he’s a little out of it, but he doesn’t mind.

He doesn’t think anything can dampen his mood today, not even Lukas not acknowledging him in public.

He’d already seen him, standing with his friends out in the front, long sleeve blue and green flannel shirt hiding the dampener that Philip knew was there.

He didn’t even look at Philip, and Philip tried to pretend that he was fine with that.

He’s thinking about Saturday, and the four hours they’d spent making out against a tree, before Lukas had set the tree on fire, when someone pulls him into the janitor’s closet.

As soon as he makes out Lukas’ face, he snorts. “This is so clichéd.”

Lukas gives him a half smile, and just pushes him until he’s leaning back against the shelves. Lukas deliberately lifts his hand and takes off the dampener, and puts it on a shelf behind Philip’s head.

Before Philip can ask him what he thinks he’s doing, Lukas is kissing him, hot and eager.

Philip moans, and wraps his arms around Lukas pulling him in closer.

Philip pulls away, and Lukas whines following his mouth, “You know for someone who doesn’t want anyone to know about us, you’re being really obvious.”

“Shut up,” Lukas responds with a pout.

Philip just bites his lip before kissing him again, slow and sweet.

Lukas pulls away this time, and breathes, “I just wanted to say hello.”

Philip smiles and presses one more kiss to his mouth. “Then hello.”

Lukas presses him harder against the shelves, hands sliding underneath Philip’s shirt to palm at his waist.

Philip pulls him in closer by his belt loops, and tilts his head changing the angle.

Lukas deepens the kiss, and licks against Philip’s mouth.

The bell rings startling them both, and Lukas pulls away taking deep calming breathes before running his fingers through his hair.

“You okay?” Philip asks, and is not surprised to find the condensation of his breath tainting the air.

Being around Lukas was dangerous for his self control.

“Yeah,” he reaches out over Philip’s head, and pulls the dampener back.

He clips it around his wrist, and Philip makes a distasteful face.

“You’re going to have to tell me why you hate these things so much.”

“There’s not enough time to do that right now,” Philip says a little numbly.

“Then later.”

He reaches over and kisses Philip, and Philip inhales sharply.

He’s not as hot as Philip has gotten used to, but it’s warm, and when he pulls back, his lips are only slightly blue, but he just licks them, and gives Philip a smile, before he’s leaving the room.

Philip stays standing there stunned for what feels like hours, before the second bell rings, and he curses and runs to his first period class.

 

*

 

Philip should’ve expected what happened next to happen.

Things were going too well lately.

Of course, something was bound to happen to screw everything up.

The something turned out to be Lukas himself, which in reality wasn’t something Philip had been expecting, at all.

It starts when he notices that Lukas is clutching his hand, the one with the dampener.

Something tells Philip that it’s malfunctioning again, and that it was probably in direct correlation to how much time Lukas spent this weekend just letting his abilities run free.

Philip’s senses are all on high alert already, when he feels the sudden spike of heat, and suddenly Lukas’ desk is on fire.

The effect is immediate, people screaming and running away, Rose, a few of Lukas’ friends and their teacher stepping closer, Lukas scrambling away from his desk in a panic.

Philip watches it all in slow motion. His eyes never leaving Lukas.

Most are gathered looking in through the idoor, while their teacher tells everyone else to step away.

Philip moves from his seat almost automatically, he’s over to the flames before he’s even aware of it, and he pats them down with his hands, ignoring the inhalations of breath.

He turns to Lukas then, and Lukas’ eyes are wide and panicked, and Philip steps closer, and Lukas pushes him, hot fingers igniting the material of Philip’s shirt.

Philip falls down on the floor, and Lukas falls to his knees, hunched over cradling his hand to his chest.

Philip ignores the flames, and the muttering, and reaches out to touch Lukas, to see if he could just cool him down enough, but the second he touches him, Lukas lets out a pained sound, and falls over.

Teachers push Philip out of the way as they grab Lukas to take him to the infirmary.

His hand dangles to the side, the dampener hot red and in full view.

Philip watches them as they leave, and doesn’t notice the looks Lukas friends give him.

Philip just stands up and zips up his hoodie, hiding the burn marks, before he’s grabbing his backpack and heading out of the classroom.

 

*

Philip just can’t seem to concentrate in any of his other classes. All he’s thinking about is Lukas and how he’s missed all of his classes, spending them in the infirmary.

There are rumors of course, but Philip isn’t really paying attention to all of that.

He’s more concerned about the fact that he can feel Lukas brightly as though he’s not wearing his dampener.

This is why it takes him by surprise when two of Lukas’ friends corner him before lunch by the school’s pool.

“We know it’s your fault,” one of them says, and Philip is so completely blindsided by that that when they push him backwards he flails and stumbles and falls backwards into the pool.

If it were the shallow end, Philip would’ve been fine, but no, it was the ten feet deep part, and Philip never learned how to swim.

The panic sets in cold and sharp against his throat, and his hands are turning dark blue, and when he tries to lifts his hands up, ice blocks his way as though he’s frozen the pool over.

Philip panics even more, and the ice starts surrounding him.

He pushes against it, but it’s no use.

He gasps unable to help it, and the water rushes in coating his throat like glass.

Philip is going to die in here.

It’s then that he feels pulsating warmth, as though Lukas is getting closer, and that would be wonderful, if he could get there in time, but Philip has a feeling he won’t.

Philip feels himself grow still, and the memories of scorching touches and warm kisses are far, far away.

Then he feels the warmth getting stronger and stronger. He forces himself to look up, and opens his eyes blearily, and there is hot red heat, right above him, and he can see the bubbles and the steam as it rises up around Lukas’ hands, distorted through the thick ice.

Philip finds the strength to reach up, and push against the ice that feels slippery to the touch, and he pushes until finally he feels the heat pouring from Lukas’ searing hands.

Lukas wraps his fingers around his wrists and pulls him up in one fluid movement, then lays him on the part where the pool is still frozen over.

Philip turns and coughs the icy water out of his lungs, turning and leaning back against the ice.

Lukas leans in close, warm and solid, pressing their foreheads together for a second, before he realizes where they are.

Philip doesn’t have the time to feel anything about that as he closes his eyes and finally passes out.

 

*

 

When Philip opens his eyes, it’s to see the cool white roof of a hospital room.

He feels the mask over his face, and pulls it over his head immediately.

He doesn’t feel any different, and when he looks down at his wrists he sighs in relief when he doesn’t spot any dampeners on him.

“They put one on you at the school,” Lukas’ voice makes him jump, and Philip turns to his left to see Lukas sitting by one of the windows, feet propped up on the window sill.

It’s dark out making Philip wonder how long he’s been asleep.

“But Helen made a scene when she got here and found out about it, made them take it off, said that you could control yourself.”

He doesn’t look at Philip, staring outside of the window.

“Mines broken, the nurse gave me a temporary one, but it’s not working like the other one. It’ll fizzle out soon.”

Philip doesn’t know what to say about any of this, and he finds that he’s really thirsty.

He must make some sort of sound, because Lukas turns to him, and then hurriedly gets to his feet, and grabs the water that’s on the table.

It’s warm when Philip drinks it, and that’s just fine with him.

He lets Lukas take the cup away, and set it aside.

Philip leans back against the pillows and looks up at Lukas. There’s something different about him.

If it wasn’t for Lukas, he’d be dead by now, and he doesn’t know if the difference is just that fact, or something completely different.

Lukas’ fingers shake when he reaches out and brushes Philip’s hair away from his forehead, but Philip feels the touch bloom hot at his fingers brushing against his skin, and spread all the way down his face.

Lukas licks his lips, “Everybody knows now.”

“Well, yeah, obviously,” Philip says and his voice sounds hoarse. “You had to melt the ice. You saved my life.”

Lukas’ face softens a little bit at that, and he leans down and presses a kiss to Philip’s forehead.

Philip sighs, and reaches out to latch on to Lukas with one hand.

Lukas moves back, and looks him in the eyes with serious blue ones.

“It’s not just about that.”

“Then what?” Philip asks confused.

Lukas gulps several times before he moves away from Philip’s bed, and paces the room twice before coming back and gripping the bar on the edge of the hospital bed.

“About how I feel about you, there’s no way they can’t not know. Not after how I reacted.”

He crouches down, and presses his forehead against the bars. Philip wants to reach out and touch him, but he knows that his touch wouldn’t be welcomed right now.

“And that’s a bad thing?” Philip finally says feeling as though his heart is breaking.

Lukas glares up at him, through the bars. “It’s bad enough they know that I’m a mutant freak, but to know, that, that other thing. It’s just too much.”

Philip flinches at mutant freak, and he sees the guilt in Lukas’ eyes as soon as the words come out, but he doesn’t say anything else.

Philip tries to be comforting.

“It’ll get easier,” he starts, but Lukas cuts him off.

“You don’t get it,” he says standing back up, and pacing around the room.

Philip tries to sit up. He really doesn’t want to have this conversation lying down.

“Then explain it to me,” he says once he’s in a comfortable position that doesn’t pull against the IVs.

Lukas turns to him, eyes desperate and wild. “I’m not like you, okay? Where you’re from it might be okay to be a mutant, or…or,  to be g-gay, but here? It’s not okay. Okay?”

He shakes his head looking defeated, “It’s not okay.”

“It is okay, Lukas.” Philip says trying to reach for him but being unable to because he’s standing too far away. Something he probably did on purpose.

He sighs in frustration when Lukas just stares at his outstretched hand.

“I know it seems like it’ll never get better, that you’ll never be your real self, but I promise. It’ll get better.”

Lukas eyes are more haunted than serious. “What if I don’t want to be my real self?”

Philip flinches at that, wrapping an arm around himself. “Why would you even say something like that?”

“Because it’s the truth!” Lukas yells looking wild. “Being like this, it’s a curse! I’m a freak!”

“That’s not true!” Philip yells back, and this time he does pull off his IV not caring when the machine starts beeping.

He sits up all the way and glares at Lukas.

“It’s not wrong, or a curse. You're not a freak! How can you even think like that?”

“How can I not? You didn’t see how everyone looked at me at school.”

“Yes I did! Because that’s how they look at me all of the time. With fear and disgust. But I don’t let it bother me because I know it’s not true!”

“Well I don’t!” Lukas very nearly roars, and the flowers on Philip’s bed stand catch on fire.

They both turn to look at it, the same exact moment that Gabe and Helen rush through the door, followed by a nurse.

Lukas looks from them to the flames to Philip, and then he’s walking out of the door, pushing pass Gabe who tries to talk to him.

Lukas reaches out absently, and closes his hands around the flames. It hisses as it goes out, and Philip just lies back in the bed and holds his arm out for the nurse to put the IV back in.

“So Lukas Waldenbeck is the boy you’ve been helping, then?” Helen asks sounding curious.

Philip looks away from them, “I’m really tired. Can we talk about this later?”

Helen makes a sound like she just might protest. But Philip vaguely hears Gabe pulling her along, out of the room.

Philip sighs and tries not to think about Lukas.

 

*

 

Philip doesn’t even manage one day of not thinking about Lukas.

As soon as they release him from the hospital, he makes some bullshit excuse to Helen and Gabe, which they both probably see right through, about needing some fresh air.

Philip stops by his room first to grab something that he’s not even sure he wants to give to Lukas.

He’d thought about it for the entire night that Helen made him stay in the hospital, and he still hasn’t decided.

He still stuffs it in his jacket pocket and then grabs his bike and rides to Lukas’ as fast as he’s able to.

The air is getting colder, which always makes him feel happier and more at home with himself.

He sees Lukas’ house in the distance, and pedals faster when he notices that Lukas’ dad’s truck isn’t in the driveway.

Philip has never been to Lukas’ house before, but this is Tivoli, a small town where nothing happens, so he’s almost one hundred percent positive that the Waldenbecks keep their doors unlocked.

He props his bike on the side of the house, and when he walks around to the front door, he’s not entirely surprised to see that the Waldenbecks go one step extra and leave their door wide open.

Philip wonders what it’s like to grow up living like this.

He walks into the house, careful not to make any noise. The house is dark despite the morning hour, and Philip has to be careful that he doesn’t bump into anything.

He finds a set of stairs, and follows them up hoping it’ll lead him to Lukas’ bedroom.

There are two doors at the landing, and one of them is open.

Philip peers inside to see Lukas lying back in bed, headphones plugged into his music player. He seems not to have heard Philip walk into his house at all.

Philip doesn’t wait for Lukas to invite him into his room. He drops his jacket on top of Lukas’ dresser and walks over to where Lukas is lying down.

He’s not sleeping because Philip can see his lips moving along to the words of whatever song he’s listening to, and he can see his fingers tapping against the music player, probably in beat.

His temporary dampener is a flash of silver against his wrist, but it looks dull in a way that tells Philip that he may need a replacement soon.

Philip sits down right on the edge of the bed, lightly grazing the curve of Lukas’ waist.

Lukas jumps, and the dampener burns yellow, before dulling back to silver.

Philip looks away from it to look at Lukas’ face.

Lukas is looking right at him. His brow is furrowed.

He tugs the earphones off, and tosses his music player to the side, before leaning up on his elbows.

“What are you doing here?”

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation from before,” Philip says instead of something ridiculous like, _I wanted to see you._

Lukas sits up, and leans back against his headboard. “I don’t have anything else to say.”

Philip sits more comfortably on the bed turning to Lukas.

“Well I do.”

Lukas looks away from him, but he doesn’t tell him to get out, so Philip just looks down at his hands and tries to figure out how to begin.

“I get it from my mom too,” he starts, and Lukas’ head twitches as though he wants to turn to look at Philip, but won’t let himself.

“She can make things move with her mind. When I was little, it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. I never figured out why she only did it inside of the house. That is until one day we’re walking down the street, and some guy grabs me, and puts a knife to my throat and tells her to give him everything that she has. She panics, and lashes out, and she throws the both of us against the alley way wall.”

Lukas is facing him now, but Philip’s mind is far away.

“I was in the hospital for three days, concussion and a broken arm. By the time I got out, she’s got a shiny new dampener, court ordered. She was never the same after that.”

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Lukas begins almost as soon as Philip finishes the sentence. “But…”

“I’m not done,” Philip says standing up. “I know what you’re going to say. That I still don’t get it. Don’t get what it’s like to be out of control all of the time, to be afraid of touching anyone even with a damn dampener on. You’re going to tell me I don’t get it, but won’t explain what it is. Well, I _do_ get it.”

He walks over to his jacket and pulls out the dampener that they gave him after the Incident.

“It’s the reason they took me away from my mom. They all agreed that it was her fault somehow instead of mine, that she should’ve taught me control, that I should’ve been wearing one of these since the beginning, but none of that has anything to do with what happened. And no, it wasn’t giving some guy hypothermia.”

He clutches the dampener in his hands, and sees that Lukas is sitting on the edge of his bed, his feet on the soft carpet beside his bed.

Philip stops right in front of him, and looks at him when Lukas tips his head up to look into his eyes.

“I nearly killed everyone in my school. I’m not saying that things aren’t different in the city than they are here, they are, but at the same time they’re just the same. Some people felt that the teachers gave me special treatment, because of my mom, or my mutation, or just because I was a teacher’s pet, you take your pick. I didn’t care for it, but they did. And they decided to show me just how much, and it was such a stupid thing to get so upset about, but I did. I didn’t even notice what was happening, until everyone starting complaining about the cold, and by then it was too late. I couldn’t stop it. I tried, but my emotions were so out of wack that I just made everything worse. By the time they got someone out there to take care of me, there was ice everywhere, the condensation was heavy like mist through the halls, and people were falling on the floor, not being able to move.”

Lukas’ hands are clenched on his lap as though he’s stopping himself from reaching out for Philip.

“They put this on me,” he says lifting the dampener into the light. “And it was as though they’d turned off a switch. But it didn’t just stop my mutation from manifesting, it stopped all of my feelings as well, I felt numb for weeks. Helen gave me a speech about how she doesn’t approve of the dampeners, and Gabe told me that I can keep wearing it if it makes me comfortable, but I hate how it makes me feel.”

He clenches the dampener in his hands and steps closer. “So, I know what it feels like to be out of control, but Lukas, you can learn to control yourself. It’s easier to learn without a dampener.”

Lukas’ brow is furrowed as though he’s processing too much information at the same time, but it smooths out after a few seconds, and he looks at Philip assessing.

“Are you going to give me yours?”

Philip’s hand clenches tighter around the device in his hands. “I’m still thinking about it,” he answers truthfully.

“Why?” Lukas demands standing up.

Philip takes a step back. “Because you don’t need it.”

“Yes, I do.” Lukas says taking a step closer with each word.

Philip takes several steps back, and hits the wall.

Lukas cages him against the wall arms on either side of Philip’s face.

Philip looks up at him defiantly.

Lukas eyes drop right to his mouth, and Philip knows what he’s going to do before he does it.

Lukas kisses him, harsh and scorching.

Philip pushes against his shoulder, and bites down hard on his bottom lip until he tastes metal in his mouth.

Lukas pulls away quickly, lip bleeding. He puts his hands to his mouth, and glares at Philip. “What did you do that for?”

Philip refuses to be cowed, “You’re not listening to me.”

Lukas looks at the blood on his hands and glares even harder. “I’m listening just fine, you have a reason to not like the stupid things, but I need it.”

“No you don’t,” Philip says and he’s beginning to feel like a broken record. “You can learn to control it. You’ve just got to practice more.”

Lukas walks away to the front of the bed, almost putting the bed between himself and Philip.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore .”

Philip’s nostrils flare, and he knows the temperature drops when Lukas’ shoulders hunch up even more.

“Fine then,” he says pushing away from the wall. “Then there’s no reason for me to be here is there.”

He throws the dampener on Lukas’ bed, and walks over to get his jacket.

“Wait,” Lukas says reaching out and stopping Philip from going anywhere.

Philip feels something crack way deep inside him, and before he can stop himself he’s turning and kissing Lukas with all his might.

“I’m sorry,” Lukas mutters over and over between kisses as he steers them both to his bed.

Philip lets him surrendering for the moment because he wants this boy so badly that his bones are quaking.

“I know you’re only trying to do what’s best for me,” Lukas whispers as Philip sits back on his bed once his knees hit the mattress, bouncing a little at the force which Lukas pushes him back.

“I know I’m being irrational at times,” he continues hooking one knee on one side of Philip’s thigh before swinging his other leg and straddling Philip’s lap. “But it’s just that I can’t concentrate on anything but wanting to get close to you, all the time.”

Philip’s breath catches in his throat, and Lukas’ smile is tempting, but he stays still as Lukas slides his hands up Philip’s shoulder and into his hair, tipping his head back.

“You’re like ice, and I can’t believe that I get to make you melt.”

Philip thinks fuck it all, and wraps one arm around Lukas’ waist, and tangles the other in his hair, before he’s tugging him down for a kiss.

Lukas kisses back eagerly, pushing, until Philip is flat on his back, with Lukas hovering over him, leaning down to giving him slow, toe curling kisses.

Lukas’ hands slide up underneath Philip’s shirt, and Philip decides that they’re both wearing entirely too much clothes.

Lukas must agree with him, because he’s pulling back to take off his shirt while Philip kicks off his sneakers.

They hit the ground with a thump, and Lukas is leaning back over him pressing a kiss underneath his chin, and nosing down his throat, biting against the collar of Philip’s shirt.

Philip’s hands slide all over the smooth hot skin, and he arcs his head up and to the side to give Lukas more access.

Lukas tugs and tugs his collar lower and lower until it’s probably stretched beyond repair, until Philip goes crazy wanting to feel Lukas against him that he pushes him back to sit up and pull his shirt over his head.

Lukas’ hands slide around his waist and across his back, and up to the nape of his neck, and Philip’s eyes roll to the back of his head with the way he leaves trails of searing heat in his wake.

“I love that I get to touch you like this,” Lukas whispers almost reverently and pulls Philip in to bite against his shoulder.

“Is that the only reason you want me?” comes out of Philip’s mouth because apparently he’s determined to ruin everything with Lukas when it’s just getting to the good part.

“What?” Lukas mumbles distractedly nibbling down to his collarbones.

Philip gasps, as he bites a little bit harder, and his fingers scramble to Lukas’ shoulders pushing him back a little.

“I mean, do you actually want me?” Philip continues because now he really needs to know the answer to the question.

Lukas blinks several times in confusion, before he gets what Philip is trying to say. He looks at him incredulously then. “ _What_?”

“No, really answer the question, do you want me?” Philip asks again.

 “Philip,” Lukas says reaching out and framing Philip’s head in his hands making sure Philip looks nowhere else but at his eyes. “We’re making out on top of my bed, of course I want you.”

“Okay,” Philip says weakly, but then again that’s only part of the reason he asked the question. “Do you really want me because you want me? Or do you only want me because you can’t hurt me when you touch me?”

Lukas pulls back a little, sitting back on Philip’s thighs.

“Does it matter?” He looks like he wants to look away, but he doesn’t, which is something that Philip really appreciates at this moment.

“Yes, it does.”

Lukas swallows hard, and then takes deep breath. He kneels over Philip, and his hands slide down to Philip’s neck.

He tips Philip’s head back, and looks deep into his eyes, “I want you, because you’re the only thing that makes me feel normal.”

Philip feels his lungs stop breathing, and his heart stop beating, and when Lukas leans down and kisses him, softly, oh so softly, like he’s made of glass, like he’s made of _ice_ , Philip _melts._

He drags Lukas with him as he falls back.

Philip feels Lukas’ heart beating hard against his chest enough for the both of them, and steals the breath from his lungs until Lukas is gasping for air, and all Philip wants is to get closer, to crawl into him and never leave.

He pulls Lukas in closer, until he’s got his elbows balanced on either side of Philip’s face, mouths still pressed close together.

“What do you want?” Philip asks tracing Lukas’ face with one hand while the other soothes up and down his back.

“I,” Lukas starts pulling away a little probably so that he can actually think, but Philip can see the way his Adam’s apple moves when he swallows, and he tips his head to the side a little, and ducks down to bite against Lukas’ throat.

Lukas stops speaking, and bares his neck, leaving Philip with more space to mark.

“If you leave a mark, everyone will know it’s from you.”

Philip latches on to a patch of skin, high up on his throat, right by his jaw, and he sucks hard.

Lukas moves one hand, and it clutches into the back of Philip’s head, fingers threaded through his hair, tugging Philip in closer and trying to pull him off all at once.

Philip finally gives into the incessant tugging, and looks up at Lukas’ face.

Lukas’ eyes are dazed, and his gaze is riveted to Philip’s mouth.

Philip licks his lips deliberately, and if it wasn’t stifling in the room before, it is now.

Philip feels like maybe they should open a window, but then Lukas pushes him back, moving back so his knees are straddling Philip’s thighs. He leans over and presses his mouth to Philip’s pulse point that rackets up at the touch.

Then he drags his mouth down, teeth scrapping against Philip's skin.

Philip gasps, and condensation fills the air, cooling swirls through the heat that is pouring off Lukas.

Lukas drags his mouth across his chest, rubbing hot fingers across Philip’s skin, making him feel overheated and out of control.

Lukas’ hands tug at the waistline of Philip’s jeans, but he doesn’t pull away to tug them off.

Lukas just slides his hands back up Philip’s sides and wraps his fingers around his neck, tipping Philip's head back and pressing kisses across his collarbones, leading up to his neck.

Philip’s mouth is open and he’s panting cool bursts of air.

Lukas’ hands move up to his hair.

Philip wraps his fingers around his wrists feeling the sweltering heat coming off him, how he’s hot and sticky already.

Lukas dips his head down and kisses Philip, and he tastes like a firestorm, sweeping through Philip, gathering all of the cold from his very core, and replacing it with this steaming heat, that makes Philip’s hips buck up for some friction because he’s been hard for what feels like _hours_.

The friction is hot and hurts so good, but Lukas pulls back panting, eyes wild and crazy.

His hands are on fire.

Philip doesn’t freak out. He just reaches out to him, and threads their fingers together.

He admires how their hands look like that, cool blue and orange flames, before the flames go out.

Lukas is still a little tense, but he doesn’t move from where he’s settled back in between Philip’s knees, legs thrown over Philip’s thighs.

“Hey,” Philip says soothingly, squeezing their fingers together. “I can handle anything you have for me.”

Lukas gulps and just looks at Philip before saying. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Philip untangles their hands, and moves so that he’s kneeling between Lukas’ spread legs.

He leans over Lukas, and Lukas tips his head back looking up at him.

“It’s alright, I do," Philip mutters before he leans down to kiss him again.

Lukas pushes up into it, licking against Philip’s lips as though he wants to taste the coolness of his mouth.

Philip’s opens his mouth because he wants to taste the heat.

He presses Lukas back.

Lukas goes without any struggle, lying back amongst the tangled sheets at the foot of his bed, and wrapping his arms around Philip’s waist.

Lukas widens his thighs, and cradles Philip’s hips between them without protest, and when he moves his hips against him, Philip can feel the flames in his mouth.

From there everything gets a little fuzzy around the edges, it could be from the way that the room seems to be filling up with steam, but it could also be from the way that Lukas touches him, and encourages every single touch back.

Philip tugs Lukas’ pants open, and slides them down his hips and legs, and throws them over the side of the bed.

His jeans are more difficult to manage, and he just barely gets the zipper down, and has them tugged to his thighs, before Lukas loses patience, and reaches out and tugs Philip back on top of him.

With one less layer, rubbing against each other feels much better.

So much better that Philip has to trap Lukas’ hands above him, and thread their fingers together so that he’s not accidentally setting anything on fire.

Philip thrusts against him. Lukas unable to move his hands widens his thighs.

Philip slots perfectly against him, and they both groan loudly.

Philip moves faster, his jeans scrapping against his thighs and the backs of Lukas’ thighs in a way that seems to make Lukas that much more desperate.

Lukas’ fingers twist in Philip’s hold, and Philip can see bright bursts of flames, but he’s more concentrated on the look on Lukas’ face, the way his mouth is open, how the sweat has matted his hair to his skull and is dripping down his neck, how his eyes are half closed, and the irises are completely black.

“Phi _l_ ip,” Lukas whines, panting hot breaths against Philip’s throat. “Faster.”

It’s not until he hears how wrecked Lukas’ voice sounds that Philip finally loses that last shred of control.

He thrusts against Lukas faster, and the bright spots of orange flame go blue, and there’s sharp stinging ice falling all around them, but Philip doesn’t care.

All he cares about is how good it feels to have Lukas underneath him, Lukas’ hands trapped in his, Lukas’ hot skin against his cold skin. The way that it seems to sizzle whenever he thrusts and their stomachs brush together.

He moves harder and faster, until Lukas finally drops his head back, and moans loud and long, his release wetting his underpants, and the feel of that against his own hard dick is what takes Philip over that edge.

He collapses on top of Lukas, hands still tangled together, and just breathes into Lukas’ hot and sweaty skin.

After a few minutes of that, Lukas starts pushing against him.

“Get off, you’re heavy,” Lukas says, and he still sounds a little bit out of breath.

Philip rolls off him, to the other side of the bed, and lies on his back looking up at the ceiling.

Lukas props himself on one elbow, and looks down at Philip’s face, so that Philip is looking at him instead.

Philip can’t help the smile that crosses his face.

Lukas smiles right back, and leans down and presses their smiles together.

He makes a face as he pulls away, “You didn’t tell me it was going to be this sticky, or sweaty.”

“Not my fault you’re a furnace.”

He glares at where Philip is cool, and not sweaty, unlike Lukas who’s drenched in sweat.

“I feel like taking a shower,” Lukas says getting off the bed.

Philip leans on his elbow and just looks at him sight slightly hindered by the mist still in the room. He’s lean and shining in the light coming out from the windows.

Philip really wants him to get back on the bed.

“You could always come take a shower with me?” Lukas offers.

Philip gives him a slow once over, and then tilts an eyebrow up when Lukas flushes all the way to his shoulders.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle it. At least, not yet.”

Lukas flushes harder, and practically runs to the bathroom.

Philip smiles and gets off the bed.

He pulls off his socks and takes off his jeans and his messy underwear, and then rummages through Lukas’ things and finds a pair of checkered pajama pants that tie at the waist. He slips them on, and doesn’t bother to roll up the cuffs, not wanting to give Lukas the satisfaction of seeing that Philip is too short for his clothes.

He lies back down on the bed staring up at the ceiling feeling for the first time in a long time, settled and not numb.

He may have fallen just a little bit to sleep, because what seems like seconds later, Lukas is getting into the bed beside him.

His skin feels warm and soft against Philip’s, and he leans half on top of him, propping his chin on Philip’s shoulder.

Philip smiles, and turns, opening his eyes to see Lukas’ face incredibly close. He looks open and happy in a way that Philip hasn’t seen before.

He smiles back at Philip, and moves propping his head on his hand looking down at Philip.

“So,” he says clearing his throat. “Since we’ve established, that I really, really, do want you, anything else we need to clear up?”

Philip means to say something sweet, and flirty, but he thinks about how open Lukas is with him now, in private, and it hurts when he’s so closed off in public.

He props his head on his hand as well, mirroring Lukas’ position, and gives him a serious look that has the smile on Lukas’ face dropping.

“When you don’t talk to me at school, it’s like you’re ashamed of me or something.”

Lukas’ face drops even more, and he looks incredibly guilty, but he reaches out with his other hand, and cups Philip’s cheek, “I’m sorry, it’s not you I’m ashamed off. It’s what they’ll think of me.”

Philip leans into Lukas’ hand and closes his eyes. “What they think doesn’t matter. It’s what you think of yourself that matters.”

Lukas sighs, and his hand slides down to cup Philip’s neck. “That may be easy for you to say, but it matters to me.”

Philip opens his eyes to see the dejected look on Lukas’ face, and no, this was not how this was supposed to go.

He reaches out for Lukas with his hand and tilts his head forward, pressing closer and giving him a soft kiss. “I know, that’s why I’m happy with just this, for right now.”

Lukas gives him a slightly confused look.

Philip kisses him again, “I get you all to myself afterschool and during the weekends. We’ll work on the rest of it later.”

Lukas looks relieved that Philip doesn’t expect him to suddenly start holding his hand in school, and Philip would never ask Lukas to do something that he was uncomfortable with, so he just smiles sweetly at him.

Lukas presses a soft kiss to his lips, and Philip hums against his mouth pressing closer.

Lukas pulls back smiling softly, sleepy, and warm. Then he turns around dragging Philip by the arm until he’s pressed up against Lukas’ back.

Philip tucks one arm underneath Lukas’ head. Lukas presses back into him and securely traps Philip’s hand in his own, threading the fingers of both of his hands through Philip’s.

Philip squeezes their fingers together and leans his forehead against the back of Lukas’ neck.

He exhales, and Lukas shivers a bit before settling.

They fall asleep just like that.

 

the end.


End file.
